BUGS!! Creepy-crawlies, big bugs, little bugs, (mostly big ones) they are just so WRONG! They are so .. so creepy! I don't even have any good descriptive words to describe my feelings towards them. When there is a bug in our house, I can't even squish it with a Kleenex... or smash it with a shoe or capture it at save it or whatever... it's a problem. Living in south Texas means a lot of different creepy crawlies, including my best friend the cockroach. I little while ago I had an incident with a bug. I was soundly sleepy in my bed, thinking I was safe and snug as a bug! (no pun intended ;) psych, I intended the pun ) Anyways, I was just sleeping away, when I was awoken by a slight tickle on my arm, and a light "hiss hissssssssss" sound. I instinctively just reach up to brush it off, thinking it was a stray hair tickling me or something, and just figured it was Maryn making weird noises in her sleep. But alas, my hand did NOT find a loose hair, and Maryn was in fact quietly sleeping next to me. My hand unknowingly brushed across a hissing cockroach, and my groggy brain quickly leaped into action. I literally closed my hand down on the roach, and flailed it across the room, where I heard it "smack" into the wall and land who knows where! So picture this: there I am, stunned with fright in my bed, in the dark, heart racing and me not knowing where this creature landed, and if it was alive, dead, or just mildly wounded due to my crushing attempt! After about 20 seconds in this state, I pulled off my blanket and in about 3 large bounding leaps hopped from my bed into the bathroom to quickly flick on the light. I couldn't see very good, due to my contact-less eyeballs, and swiftly scanned the floor. Just a few inches in front of the bathroom door way where I was standing crawled this hissing mad cockroach. At this point I'm so frightened that I can barely think straight, and I panicked. I needed something to kill it or trap it, and I came up with a blank! I grabbed the first thing I saw under the bathroom sink, which was a bottle of Clorox bleach! So I mustered up the courage to make the move, and I stepped forward to.. to... do something I guess! I didn't really know at the time what I was going to do, because I didn't know if cockroaches could fly, or jump high, or whatever, so if I attacked it, who KNOWS what it could have done to me!! Anyways, so here I am, standing in the doorway, one hand holding the bleach bottle, the other hand covering my mouth, literally, to hold back my screams, and adrenalin rushing. I eventually stepped forward and slammed the bottle down on the little guy, and then twisted that bottle and crushed that bug so hard and so far into the carpet that it was not going to be recognizable. After that I just left the bottle on top of the bug and didn't look back. He was way dead. Poor guy. What a traumatic death. Anyway! So now the task of getting back into my bed. For all I know the rest of the cockroach family was nesting in my sheets, and I was so freaked out. So I grab my sheets and blankets and fling them about to shake out anything left in there. In hind-site, that was silly because I would be flinging the roaches onto Maryn's bed... woops! Sorry Mar! Anyhoo.. so, lets just say, crawling into my bed was a real nightmare, and falling back asleep following this attack.. well.. not easy. All in all, bugs are nasty, inappropriate and they just... violate people! Seriously, I felt so vulnerable and violated by these and theres not much we can do about it!!
Oh! haha funniest part of the whole story probably was the next morning, Maryn says to me, "oh man I had the weirdest dream last night! I dreamed that you were standing with a bleach bottle in the bathroom..? It was the weirdest thing!" HAHAHA no no, Maryn, that was not a dream. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! AND YOU SLEPT RIGHT THRU IT!!
Ya. Huge. Hahah I SWEAR it was bigger before I smushed out its guts!
Bugs scare me.They tick me off. It's dumb to be so frightened of such a small baby creature...
I've always felt very violated by bugs!! Especially mosquitos!!! You can't just fly around me and suck my blood...I'll kill you!!
ReplyDeleteLiterally, I'll kill you.
ReplyDeleteSo owwwwneeedd!!!!